Last evening I quit something. All day I’d been thinking about availability, how important it is. Then at day’s end I quit something. It seemed a strange mix.
Before sun-up I’d read this lines:
The willingness to be inconvenienced is the ultimate proof of love…Love is the willingness to be interrupted…Your theology is best expressed in your availability and your interruptability.
– Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way (underlining mine)
A lot of highlighter was used on that page.
But by 4 o’clock, I was leaning against going to the evening meeting.
By 5, I was saying it out loud.
By 6, I’d sent the email saying I would not be attending on Thursday evenings anymore.
Thing was, I had only been attending because I thought I should. I should go. I should be part of this. I should be the good example. (There it is, that last one.)
In this morning’s dark I’m wondering if maybe the two things (the lines on availability and the quitting) are not opposites, as they first seemed to be. Maybe they go together. Maybe part of being available is deciding what I am not available for any longer.