Quitting

Last evening I quit something. All day I’d been thinking about availability, how important it is. Then at day’s end I quit something. It seemed a strange mix.

Before sun-up I’d read this lines:

The willingness to be inconvenienced is the ultimate proof of love…Love is the willingness to be interrupted…Your theology is best expressed in your availability and your interruptability.
– Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way (underlining mine)

A lot of highlighter was used on that page.

But by 4 o’clock, I was leaning against going to the evening meeting.
By 5, I was saying it out loud.
By 6, I’d sent the email saying I would not be attending on Thursday evenings anymore.

Thing was, I had only been attending because I thought I should. I should go. I should be part of this. I should be the good example. (There it is, that last one.)

In this morning’s dark I’m wondering if maybe the two things (the lines on availability and the quitting) are not opposites, as they first seemed to be. Maybe they go together. Maybe part of being available is deciding what I am not available for any longer.

About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
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11 Responses to Quitting

  1. Marcy says:

    Yes and yes and YES Marilyn! As I was making a decision to Stop this week, a phone call came in that was a better fit for me to Go. The Stop had begun to pull on my soul and not in a good way. The Go will be an opportunity to give more of me in a way that fills me up at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn says:

      Sometimes it’s a major achievement just to slow down enough to discern these things, don’t you agree? I hope your GO thing turns out to be satisfying and rewarding, Marcy. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  2. Juliana says:

    I think that unless there is freedom to not be available, then there isn’t freedom to be available. I well see how quitting and being available go quite well together. I’ve been pondering what to quit – either permanently or for a season. The Broken Way is sitting on my end table unopened; maybe it’s time to open it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Belinda says:

    So with you in the process of discernment, Marilyn. There are some activities that “fit,” and you know you are meant to give yourself to them, but others that feel like a sweater that has shrunk–or belongs to someone else–they deserve a hard second look. I think that our lives were meant to be lived with joy and you have to leave room for it when it appears–that sudden invitation or phone call–God’s agenda. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. pastordt says:

    Somehow this one got buried in my saved tabs and I’m delighted to read it late! The best (and hardest) advice I ever got was this: “Learn what your ‘yeses’ are; then you’ll be able to say ‘no’ whenever necessary.” Still learning to do that. Dang.

    Like

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