The Night I Do Everything Wrong

THE NIGHT I DO everything wrong,
I let someone dominate the conversation early on
rather than moving it along.

I always look directly at whoever is speaking,
not at my watch,
but, without even knowing the time,
I feel my head
and everyone else’s
fixed in one direction too long,
and that I, as leader,
ought to redirect things,
but I don’t,
thinking maybe the story she is telling
is the story
someone in the group needs right now.

The night I do everything wrong
and hear my own voice too much toward the end,
and I see everyone’s head
fixed in my direction too long.
I am rescued by the least likely member
making a most powerful connection
by telling a story
that would not have come out otherwise.
It illuminates the circle.

The night I do everything wrong,
one stays behind
and shares a story
she would not have otherwise told,
at the end of which lies,
“Don’t stop offering the olive branch,”
the thing I needed someone to tell me directly,
and I remember why it is I love small groups
and am glad I stopped waiting to feel perfectly up to it
before agreeing to lead again.

On the night I do everything wrong,
I don’t rush out,
but walk slowly to the parking lot,
feeling at home.

About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
This entry was posted in community, intentional relating, perfectionism, summer 2016 challenge, time management. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Night I Do Everything Wrong

  1. I love this so much! It rings true in my life as well, that sometimes the things that appear to going badly are going as they need to. Glad you did not wait too long to start leading again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pastordt says:

    FABULOUS, and so true. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: 1,300 Words Left Sitting –

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