Going Backwards

img_2027THE GOLF TEE marks the spot where the error was made. I need to undo to that point, then move forward again. That means more time.

I think of my mother-in-law unraveling her knitting after detecting a mistake 20 rows back. I watched in horror and protested.

“Who will notice that one stitch?”

“Nobody but me,” she said. “But this sweater will last for years. I don’t want the sight of it to remind me of a mistake I could have corrected.”

I was young and in a hurry. She, however, was making a work of art.

* * *

TWO WEEKS AGO, I sent short excerpts from my ebook to a few objective readers, just to get some feedback. I’ve been writing in a vacuum and need the help of others to tell me if I’m coming across clearly, making sense, writing anything anyone might want to read. I heard back. Now I can come back at it with fresh eyes. Only I haven’t, not yet, because:

1) a huge distraction came into my life

2) there is no #2, I just don’t feel #1 is reason enough

I worry about wasting time. but I’m starting to think that worrying about things being a waste of time is a huge obstacle to creating art because:

1) I can’t always discern between wastes of time and setbacks that are integral to the work

2) there is no #2, I just haven’t fully accepted #1

I’m pretty sure the distraction that’s kept me from the ebook plays a part in the bigger story and the mental mishmash that occurs each morning when I show up at the page is just my head processing everything.

* * *

FYI: I worked my way back to the golf tee.
I finished the chairs.



About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
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5 Responses to Going Backwards

  1. elizabethfstewart says:

    The chairs are beautiful! And, re. your book, at least you’ve started! I’ve “been meaning to” has been my mantra for way too long.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pastordt says:

    LOVE those chairs. And I’d happily read any ebook you care to produce, my friend. Happily. Keep me posted!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Belinda says:

    I too, love the chairs, and I can’t wait for the second part of the e-book.


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