The Thrice-Asked Question

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 6.54.41 AMLAURA ASKED about the thrice-asked question I mentioned in my previous post. It was “What did you do before this?” I didn’t include that detail because I didn’t think it important, but I’m glad she asked because it made me stop a moment and think more about what had happened there with that question.

Yes, three times this week I was asked. The question arose naturally and sprang from a good thing, that I had done something well and people were curious about my background.

But I hate the question.

Each time I tried to answer quickly and honestly, without letting on how much pain it put me in.

My kitchen listening these days is Brene Brown’s “Rising Strong.” She talks about the importance of being both curious and willing – curious about why we have the reactions we have and willing to pursue the answer. It’s not for the faint-of-heart.

Why does the background question unsettle me? Very likely the answer has something to do with the story I’m trying to find.

While we are at it, I may as well chuck in a discovery I made a few months back: While I’ve been opening up and sharing my story more freely in talks I give and in writing to a few people, there is one part of it I usually hold back. What’s up with that?

I am blogging about these things only because I know a number of you are also on the journey of finding your story and I think the issues that arise, more than the specific details or answers, are worth putting out there.

I think this whole mess is going to turn into something.

About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
This entry was posted in courage, creativity, discoveries, finding your voice, response, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Thrice-Asked Question

  1. sarahfarish says:

    I am also listening to Rising Strong via Audible. I’d rather hold the book and highlight, but I am in the car so much that I keep podcasts downloaded and books ready:) My last note in my phone as I listened….in order for forgiveness to happen, something has to die. I learn much from her – and you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn says:

      I’ve just come through the section about confabulations (the stories we make up to make sense of what’s happened), why we do that, how they are usually not correct but how if we express it in terms of “this is the story I’m telling myself,” it can be very useful and enlightening in a non-threatening way. I need to also remember others are doing the same and that explains behaviors I can’t understand.


  2. annkroeker says:

    This makes my writing-coach-heart happy: “I think this whole mess is going to turn into something.”


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