If you are waiting to NOT be afraid
you’ll be waiting a long time.
I have yet to encounter ANY
that does not carry with it
endless opportunities for FEAR.
FEAR of trying
FEAR of failing
FEAR of not knowing all the answers
FEAR of having to ask
FEAR of not having sufficient enthusiasm to see a thing all the way through
FEAR of someone not approving
FEAR of a bad memory being triggered
FEAR of appearing foolish
FEAR of not fitting in….
It’s amazing we get anything done at all!
* * *
The procrastinated-upon bike purchase decision
was nothing more than a long list of fears –
FEAR of getting one not suited to me
FEAR I wouldn’t really enjoy having one
FEAR it would be a pressure
leave me kicking myself every time I passed it by
as I hurried off to other things,
no time for it.
And the BiGGeST FEAR of all:
Knowing there was a reason
I’d stopped riding years ago,
FEAR that I’d remember what the reason was
immediately after my first ride.
Oh, right. THAT’s why I stopped riding a bike.
after much time and talk,
I finally take the step in front of me
and buy a bike.
And the decision
is such a relief
it makes it into my Gratitude Journal.
* * *
Freed of my fears
I took off yesterday
for the local convenience store
to pick up stamps.
ON the bike.
said the woman behind me in line,
and then comes her story.
A bike, a dog dashing out,
a fall, a broken hip.
FEAR of buying
FEAR of riding.
I got back on the bike
and headed home,
steering clear of Nolan Circle.
Instead I made an enjoyable loop
down to the river,
where I gave some thought
to blogging about the experience.
There is no such thing as no fear.
only not allowing fear to take the steering wheel
or handlebars, as the case may be.
We take the next step
in spite of fear,
not in denial of it
and definitely not waiting for it to voluntarily walk away.