Sweeping Aside

Picture 14

Did I just say that?
I did.
I heard myself.
I said “I used to work with teens.”
My own words caught my ear.

I USED to.

And then again
four more times
in the next two weeks,
those three words.

I used to … do this or that.
I used to … be the first one people thought of for …
I used to … be the one asked about …
I used to write.

Did I actually say that last one?
I did.
I have no idea why.

I laugh inwardly,
seeing
all the “I used tos”
being swept together.

It’s suddenly
all at once
in a flurry
like when a gust of wind blows through
and autumn leaves
bid farewell
to the branches they clung to
through seasons,
spinning freely
to the ground.

Wasn’t I the one who,
on a recent prayer walk
enjoying the fresh air
blowing through my overtaxed mind,
asked to know
who I am
and for what purpose
I am here,
so that I do not get lost
in busyness,
thinking activity = worth?

And now the answer comes:

First
let’s collect up the
past identities
and set them aside.

raked leaves

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” – Hebrews 12:1

About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
This entry was posted in busy schedules, discoveries, finding your voice, letting go, next step, prayer. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Sweeping Aside

  1. deidra says:

    This post reminds me of two questions I’m asking while away: “Lord, who are you, and what would you have me do?”

    Thanks for sharing this with us today.

    Like

  2. Fern says:

    “I used to play the trombone,” I say, as I haul it off to the Salvation Army.

    “I used to teach Bible studies,” I say, as I look through the boxes in the storage rooms.

    “I used to be thin,” I say, as I look in the mirror.

    But God isn’t finished with me. He is still using my life to touch and help others. For that I’m thankful.

    Like

  3. Belinda says:

    I loved this. We carry the ghosts of past identities as if afraid to let go in case we lose ourselves, blind to the possibilities in the present, if only we decluttered! 🙂

    Like

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