WHAT was I thinking?

No sooner had I published my first blog post than panic set in.

Even though I’ve been thinking about blogging for months …
Even though I’ve had the blog layout set to go for a while…
Even though everything was in place and all I needed to do was start….
I finally took the step, had a very fleeting sense of relief, then was struck with the thought:

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?

SO familiar, this. Start something, second-guess it, think it’sa bad idea. OR maybe a good idea, but wrong time, place or method.

I used to think I was the only one.
Q: When you finally take a step, are you often struck with SUDDEN REMORSE?

About Marilyn

Reading, thinking, listening, writing and talking about faith, creativity, ESL for refugees, grief and finding the story in a story. Student of Spanish. Foe of procrastination. Cheez-it fan. People person with hermit tendencies or vice-versa. Thank you so much for reading.
This entry was posted in negative voices, panic button, regret, roadblocks. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to WHAT was I thinking?

  1. Sarah K says:

    Uhmmm…yep – this is me. Ironically I am a bit impulsive when it comes to “big” things. I jump in head first without thinking and then the reality of what I’ve just done sets in. HOURS and HOURS of researching every option available to finish what I started follows. I have the tendency to overthink everything which in turn causes me to fully regret what I started and often abandon the dream I had. I wish I could just “let it go” and follow my heart and see where I end up. Unfortunately, I simply can’t let go – must control everything.

    Like

  2. Marilyn says:

    Love your transparency, Sarah! Thanks!

    Like

  3. heatherandseth says:

    I think this was an excellent thought, and I’ll keep reading. I’ve had tons of panic moments, almost on a daily basis. Feel free to check out our adoption blog, which we will be moving…..but I’m trying to update as much as possible.

    Like

  4. Marilyn says:

    Thanks for the invitation to your blog. I clicked on your names and up it popped!

    Like

  5. oh dad says:

    I don’t know if “remorse” is the word in the situation I have in mind. Perhaps it was trepidation (which sounds better than FEAR). I recall the day in 1995 when after having relocated to Marietta I was facing my first day at work. Passing the IGA I looked across the river and saw the plant. The wheels in my mind started turning and the baby butterflies started flitting around in my stomach. I crossed the bridge and started up river on the west side. Turning over the RR tracks, up the hill and around the bend there it was! Now the butterflies had morphed into oversized raptors of some sort and I wondered “What on earth have I done”??? A new job awaited somewhere in those buildings behind the chainlink fence. Why a chainlink fence? Are employees eager to escape or are there big secrets inside “the compound” that the general public mustn’t know? I suppose I could have changed my mind at that point but I didn’t. Now thirteen years have passed. Looking back at the “big picture” I can recall having occasionally doubted my decision that day. I think that’s normal.
    In the end -I’m glad I didn’t turn around.

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