Wendy* is one of the most creative and imaginative people I know. She comes up with the best ideas from seemingly out of nowhere. She’s tremendously gifted and has a real heart for people, BUT when I think of her it’s usually with a little bit of sadness because…..while she is visionary and can ‘see’ many good things to do… she also sees more roadblocks that anyone I know. And ALL of her roadblocks fall under the heading of “If Only”:
“IF ONLY we had a bigger space...”
“IF ONLY it didn’t cost so much…“
“IF ONLY I could find the time to…“
and then the all-time biggie:
“IF ONLY I was thinner…“!
It’s a prison, this IF ONLY mindset.
I’ve known several people like this and wonder at times if I gravitate toward them. The RESCUER in me keeps offering suggestions for how to overcome the ‘if onlys’ – “We could use this other space,” “How about these cost-saving methods?” “How about THIS time slot?” – but my suggestions are always rejected. It’s like a dance step we find ourselves stuck in. (I think this is called a co-dependency.)
“Do you think my ‘if onlys’ are really hiding places for me?” Wendy asked me. She may be on to something there.
Christ came to “to set the prisoner free,” but there are so many prisons from which we don’t seem to want freedom. Even needing to be the rescuer can be a prison.
And I would stop trying to rescue IF ONLY people would stop being the way they are! 
What are your ‘if onlys’?
*fictitious name
